Sunday, March 9, 2014
BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT
|
These are classified ads, which were actually placed
in U.K. Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER..
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale....
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $100... WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
**** And the WINNER is.... ****
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, $200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything. Statement of the Century Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?" |
Children Are Quick___________ TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables..
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.(I Love this child)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O..
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________ Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Pumpkin Apple Muffins
One of my fall favorites - these muffins are moist and very tasty. They are also relatively healthy if you substitute in wheat flour and applesauce and omit the streusel topping.
Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups flour (I usually use 1/2 wheat flour)
2 cups brown sugar
1 Tbsp. pumpkin pie spice
1 tsp. baking soda
2 eggs, beaten
1 cup canned pumpkin (more)
1/2 cup applesauce or oil
2 cups apples, peeled, cored, and chopped
Streusel Topping (can be doubled):
2 Tbsp. flour
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
4 tsp. butter
Directions:
Preheat over to 350 degrees F. Grease muffin cups. Mix dry ingredients and wet separately. Add wet to dry; stirring just to moisten. Fold in apples. Spoon in muffin cups Mix streusel topping and sprinkle on muffins. Bake 35-40 minutes.
If you prefer, you can make bread rather than muffins. Extend baking time by 30 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean
Servings: 18
Time: 15 Minutes Preparation Time
35-40 Minutes Cooking Time
By cs_jag from Hillsboro, OR
Read more: http://tincatchat.proboards.com/thread/7697#ixzz2uGs9Upj2
Easter Sites
www.coloring.ws/easter.htm
color pages
www.easterbunnyfun.com/
bunny fun
www.kidsites.org/search/primary/events_celebrations/easter/index.html
sites for kids and easter
www.just-mom.com/easter/symbols.htm
easter
sassysites.blogspot.com/2011/03/hoppy-easter.html
bunny crafts
www.bible-printables.com/sitemap.htm
bible printables
www.fvsd.ab.ca/weblinks/easter_sites.htm
general site
www.greatholidaysites.com/Easter/Easter-Information/Easter-Holiday-History-Facts-Customs-Traditions-l67.html
easter general site
color pages
www.easterbunnyfun.com/
bunny fun
www.kidsites.org/search/primary/events_celebrations/easter/index.html
sites for kids and easter
www.just-mom.com/easter/symbols.htm
easter
sassysites.blogspot.com/2011/03/hoppy-easter.html
bunny crafts
www.bible-printables.com/sitemap.htm
bible printables
www.fvsd.ab.ca/weblinks/easter_sites.htm
general site
www.greatholidaysites.com/Easter/Easter-Information/Easter-Holiday-History-Facts-Customs-Traditions-l67.html
easter general site
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